Extremes

There's a saying when it comes to me:

All or Nothing

I want it all

but will survive with nothing

My so called heart fits this best

I once found a love worth pursuing

It grew on my heart like a new muscle

I felt it pulsing through me

my senses scavenging every feeling

This was a selfish love

There was no room for others

I protected it under close observation

Inquisitive and Intelligent

Alone with my prize

I questioned it's existence

pondered my possession

secretly felt I didn't deserve it

After all it's not like I worked for it

This love was mine with a look

I noticed

and accepted

It joined me when I had nothing

but wasn't prepared to be everything

This became my happiness

complete

Yet this love of mine was not happy

It would not be possessed

controlled like a puppet or servant

It had it's own life

It's own problems

and was frightened by my control

It proceeded to tear itself from me

As you can imagine, this was unbearable

When it freed itself of me...

of my heart

It nearly killed me

My scream pierced even my own ears

I collapsed as if shot

clutching my heart

putting pressure on the wound

Gasping and grasping for a hold on my life

Only to find I was once again alone

Like walking on a new world

the air choked me

my muscles ached with disuse

I knew I deserved this

my mistake was clear

I took it for granted

and it was all too easy

A seductive drug this love was

One I can now live without

I was wrong to think I could control it

so now I live with nothing

not even a taste

and I'm happy